To Save Your Marriage, “Partner Up”
Your marriage is in crisis. You have both come to the realization that your marriage is not sustainable. Can you both make your marriage work? Can past wounds be healed? Can past infractions against one another be forgiven? Can trust and confidence be restored between you?
If you both answer yes to these difficult questions, then you both must be open to facing these difficult questions head-on. These problems will only be solved if you are both determined and strong. It is not an easy task. It is possible to save your marriage if you both make a vow to do so.
You are both facing hard realities together and this is the first step towards saving your marriage. Next, make a commitment to each other to save your marriage. You can now say to yourself, “I will save our marriage, at any cost.” When things get tough, keep that affirmation in mind and be able to recall it.
A healthy relationship starts with bitterness
Many marriage problems are caused by bitterness. It can make it difficult to forgive and reconcile in a marriage. It is a fuel for anger, misunderstanding, and unforgiveness. This is similar to a relational-based cancer.
In most marriages, one spouse has committed hurtful or unfair acts against the other spouse. These offenses can be shared back and forth among the spouses. Confession is part of marriage saving. These incidents can taint your relationship and affect how you feel about each other. These hurtful acts can lead to negative emotions that can be triggered by another hurtful act from the spouse.
Get rid of bitterness before it kills your marriage
If you don’t discuss and resolve the root causes of your bitterness and how you and your spouse deal with conflict in your marriage, the negative “off-shoots” emotions can grow and intensify until it becomes unbearable for you both. This is where you and your spouse are now.
When you’re trying to resolve your marital problems, these root issues should be addressed first. These “bitter-root” issues must be addressed by both spouses in order to remove the root cause of your marital bitterness.
It is important that you share your feelings and thoughts about the offense you received from your spouse.
Give your spouse the opportunity to tell you what they thought and felt when they committed this offense against you
Don’t move on to the next issue of bitterroot until you have established the following:
All sides have been considered
You both understand your motives, feelings, and intentions.
There is agreement on the issue
The spouse inflicting the offense explains his or her regrets over the act in question
The spouse who has been hurt offers forgiveness and the spouse who is offended accepts it.
This process can be repeated until you have removed all bitterness from your marriage. This task can take you a lifetime to complete. This strategy can be done if you are willing to put in the effort to get rid of bitterness in your marriage. This strategy can lead to a happy marriage. You will be able prevent bitterness from forming in your marriage if you both practice identifying what causes bitterness in your relationship and promoting conflict resolution.